Getting old sucks.
I swear, in most aspects of my life I feel as though I can still conquer the world, do whatever I want to do and I still feel as though I am 27. In reality that’s not the case. I can see the grey hairs sprouting, the occasional whisker popping up on my chin (curse you whiskers) and the wrinkles around my eyes.
What hits me hardest is realising that my parents are also getting old.
I visited my family back in December and one of the first things I noticed was how much my parents had aged. I am not saying that its a bad thing, but it does put things back into perspective. Along with age, comes illnesses and one of the worst forms of illnesses has hit my family.
The dreaded C.
I got a phone call a few weeks ago saying that my dad had been experiencing a few issues and that he would be heading down to the dr’s to get a few tests run and a check up. Everything came back normal and then last week, another phone call came through saying that my mom and dad were headed back down to the hospital because the symptoms had gotten significantly worse. A few days later, a handful of tests and a procedure that took longer than it should have, we have confirmation of a diagnosis.
A diagnosis that has shattered my world apart. Not into small pieces, it actually feels as though my world has been obliterated.
As a daughter, I don’t think you ever want to consider the possibility of losing your dad. The man that you look up to for everything. Your very first love and quite possibly the man that nobody will ever be able to compete with. But now, we need to wait. Wait to see the results of biopsy’s and histologies and waiting for further work-ups and treatment plans.
All of this while I am a million miles away and unable to give my favourite person in the world a hug. A hug that would comfort us both and possibly make us feel as though we weren’t alone in the world.
The wait begins while the weight of the circumstances weigh me down.